SPAM ATTACK

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Aaaah.... ....Just sitting at my computer, checking my e-mails. This is the life. However, sometimes something spoils it all. That thing is....


You Have Mail![edit | edit source]

To: robert.kat@*******.com
From: DoNotWant@******.org
Subject: a MessaGe phrom yoar new phfr1end, the Rich 6uy!

HelljO, <insert name here>! I juSjt won $9001 dolLers on tHis CoNteSxt to See Who Hazs teh BigjeSit pEniXxX, cuuz yo8u are s9 rgeat, I thughot you m7ght be g5od for 
this c7mpet4tion! You Know, cuz uyer pe1nxx is so bIjGgGGgG, and y0ur sO sjExy! WanjlAaA buY S9oMe St6fF? Spamm.gif

F*** off. No, because this is spam. I'm going to have to delete this crap.

DELETED!!

You have mail![edit | edit source]

What?! Not again....

To: robert.kat@*******.com
From: Captain_Nerd@******.org
Subject: MOAR SHIT!! 

Open the attachment to Download Now some delicious spam. Spam up, for a cheapy treat! Spam up, its made of gerbil meat! Spam, related to Shat, is probably best known 
as the favourite food of Vikings.

In latter days this has also been used to describe the flood of crap emails sent by evil wrongdoers in the hope of twisting some gullible sap out of their money.

Aficionados insist the best way to enjoy SPAM is with a fried egg, chips, beans, mushrooms, hash browns, omelettes, sardines, paraquat and SPAM (with perhaps a side 
order of SPAM and a milk SPAM shake to wash it all down).

What's with all the spam today!?!? GOD!!


DELETED!!

The spammers are out in full force today. Now, let's go back to alt.tv.be-

You Have Mail![edit | edit source]

Oh god not again. What could this possibly be? guess.

To: robert.kat@*******.com
From: Tanketai@****.com
Subject: THIS IS NOT A JOKE

In 1948, a young girl sailed from Africa to America. Later that day, she was murdered by an unknown person who wrote "Kata Lata Kulu" in her back. If you don't copy 
and paste this exact message on 5 vids, she will come to your house and steal your soul. 

Erm, no.

DELETED!!

There. For god's sake, it's finally ove-

You Have Mail![edit | edit source]

-You know, I really need to learn to keep my mouth shut. What have we got here.

To: robert.kat@*******.com
From: PantsMacKenzie@*******.com
Subject: Your computer may be affected, READ!!

Need Viagra? House insurance? Animal porn? Would you believe me if I told you I was a rich foreign person wishing to deposit money in America, needing someone to 
assist me for thousands of dollars? If so, email me at billg@microsoft.com V1@GR/\ FOR SALE!! V1@GR/\ FOR SALE!! 

Wow. So now PantsMacKenzie is a spammer now? When he's not being an XFag and trolling on Benson, that is. He's really hit a new low.

DELETED!!

There, that's-

You Have Mail![edit | edit source]

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK.

To: robert.kat@*******.com
From: Ribamar @*******.com
Subject: Cheapest med 1cations based LICENSED online phar tmacy! 

C1alis Soft Tabs as low as $4.72
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Need medic1ne? All here! 

NO!! WILL IT EVER END????

DELETED!!

What am I doing? Only more spam will come. Let's just wrap this up no-

You Have Mail! You Have Mail![edit | edit source]

Great, two messages. What have we got now.

To: robert.kat@*******.com
From: Silius@******.org
Subject: Uncyclopedia
Hi! Great site, thanks! buy viagra buy xanax gay rape cialis http://favfdzvkhalexpolakyoveayrt7w4ytiukhksdvda.lycos.com beast sex buy vallium spam remove

Meh, the other's by the first guy, so I presume it's just the same message. So, let's delete both of them. DELETED!!
DELETED!!

You Have Mail! You Have Mail! You Have Mail! You Have Mail! You Have Mail![edit | edit source]

GAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS WITH ALL THE SPAM TODAY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

DELETED!!
DELETED!!
DELETED!!
DELETED!!
DELETED!!

* Gasping and panting like a dog. *

Oh.... I give up. Just please, please be no more spam. Just please no-

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* Starts crying softly to self. *

                               
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The term SPAM took new life with the invention of the WWW (West Wisconsin Waste) in 1873. An acronym for Solicited Piece'o Actual Mail, SPAM allowed millions to 
realize the full value of the Internets. Millions of penii were lengthened. Nigeria became the richest country on Earth, as even low-level government functionaries 
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Listen, I can't take this anymore, so I'll just CTRL+ALT+DEL...

aulina Rodriguez <wrxf@mercury-plastics.com>

Subject: tremendous

Amazingly, these patients were brain dead, showing no electrical activity in the cortex while they were dead. However, many intriguing experiments 
now exist to show that a person's thoughts can move beyond the brain. It also examines management issues, housing related service delivery 
innovations, case histories of successful housing alternatives, and financing strategies. This journal is intended primarily for specialists at 
research institutes. We didn't try to convert her to atheism, either, or make plans to have her disseminate our godless doctrines when she got 
home. This journal is intended primarily for specialists at research institutes. , a worldwide leader in trading card games, today. I think that, 
by the mystic Rule of Threes, that requires that I respond, so let's take a look at Chopra's seven pieces of evidence for an afterlife. This photo 
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to use the term with historical priority and less operational ambiguity, is all. My views on the matter are probably darn close to Wilkins', but I 
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IT'S A TRICK THAT SPAMMERS USE TO GET ROUND SPAM BLOCKERS. WITH LOTS OF RANDOM TERMS THE SPAM BLOCKER THINKS THE EMAIL WAS SENT BY SOMEONE YOU CAN 
TRUST-- ¢αρтαιη ηєяd! The Mass Of Crap  Click here or everyone dies
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Fuck this, just force shutdown. There.... I'll get a technician to work on that. Fuck you, spammers! I curse you and your families to an early death!!

See Also[edit | edit source]