Sealand
Sealand is a really small place with like 22 people or something. You can buy a piece of territory or buy yourself a royal title.
Sealand has no natural predators, which has enabled it to form into the size it is to this very day. The people inhabiting Sealand must bear arms and defend themselves against the attacking evil British rappers constantly attacking them every 8th day of the week. When asked for comment, the President of the United States, Donald Clinton said this: “I think Sealand is a great place. I would love to visit there with my wife Bill Clinton.”
Sealand also has sport teams, which is stupid. Not all of the athletes are even from Sealand, how stupid. Sealand reportedly used to hold anti-aircraft defenses, and were used by inhabitants to shoot down birds because they thought it was funny. However, they quickly got rid of them because the Prime Minister of the UK fell into one and threatened to leave mean comments on their Facebook pages unless they removed it.
“Yes I did that,” said Boris Alexander Mary Windsor in an interview. “0/10 too much dirt wouldn’t do again.”
Back in 29 B.C, nothing was there, but in 1899 there was something there, and then it was abandoned so some guy bought it and moved there so he could beat his loved ones in peace. Then he moved off the territory, like a loser, and died. His ashes were snorted when his wife thought they were crushed up smarties and she was back in 5th grade. She promptly fell off the edge and was eaten by Mel Gibson.
Incidents[edit | edit source]
1899
Someone in their infinite wisdom decided to smoke and drink a beer at the same time. They inevitably got drunk and decided to stuff a handkerchief inside of his bottle and light it with his cigar. He dropped his newly fashioned Molotov Cocktail and also fell off but swam back to shore and reportedly left. The fire raged on for hours because nobody cared.
1900
Violent Crimes were committed because protesters swam to Sealand and started protesting for gay rights. None of them made it back to shore, but the King of Sealand issued an apology to their families which were promptly accepted.
1968
One man found that all of the bathrooms on the territory were occupied, so he went over the edge and poisoned a bunch of fish. They got mad and sued him into debt, driving him deeper and deeper into a depression. He decided to let the fish eat him which was impossible because the fish died shortly after they sued him. He fell further into a depression and began to try to swallow fish whole, but he couldn’t because he forgot to come back up for air and died.
1978
For a moment in time, Sealand didn’t exist because the British government was really angry at the king of Sealand because he would not share any Oreos. Sealand performed an invasion of the UK and forced the Brits to sue for peace.