Sealand Wars
Sealand, the dumb stupid microcountry, has declared war many times and has somehow won 65% of their wars.
Sealand vs. UK[edit | edit source]
The UK decided to declare war in 1954 because they got really mad. Sealand invaded the royal palace and killed the Queen and Prime Minister, forcing them both to be replaced. The UK immediately surrendered after Sealand troops began to pillage residential neighborhoods and rob them dry of cash.
Sealand vs. Ireland[edit | edit source]
After the IRA car bombed a Sealand territorial area in the ocean, Sealand raided their homes and held their wives for ransom, which they all paid. Then they took the money and shot their wives and the entire IRA, which is why it doesn’t exist any longer.
Ireland was angry about this so they started taking potshots at birds flying around Sealand, hitting none of them. So Sealand retaliated by using their AA guns to shoot down Irish commercial planes passing by. Ireland was forced to pay 12£ in war reparations after surrendering.
Sealand vs. Australia[edit | edit source]
After Australia’s elected official soiled himself in a McDonald’s, Sealand declared war because he allegedly said: “Oh no! I Sealanded myself!” So they burnt him and left his body in the streets. Then they pillaged more houses and stole some more stuff. Pressure from the UN made them apologize but they got to keep their stuff.
Sealand vs. Russia[edit | edit source]
Sealand decided that they would speak Russian for a day. Russia got upset because of trademark and copyright issues that occurred because of this. As you could guess Sealand went to war with Russia and it ended in a stalemate, with nobody dying and nothing being destroyed. They signed a peace treaty and decided that nothing would be exchanged between the two.
Sealand vs. Seagulls[edit | edit source]
While Sealand still had their AA guns, they took potshots at birds for fun. Many Seagulls did not like this, and banded together to stop this. They all swooped down and annoyed the Inhabitants of Sealand, before the Sealand civilians shot some seagulls down with the AA guns. Eventually shooting down the birds was proving to be ineffective, so they negotiated a peace deal with the Seagulls. It was a Pyrrhic victory, with many Seagull lives being lost. Sealand’s AA guns were removed after 5 years due to an incident with the then Prime Minister of the UK.