Sledgehammer hair

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“THEY STOLE THIS SHITTY IDEA FROM ME!”

~ Peter Gabriel on Sledgehammer hair

“IT'S A MIRACLE!”

~ Black dude from the Kimmy Schmidt theme song on Sledgehammer hair

“MONEY.”

~ Donald Trimpp on Sledgehammer hair

"Sledgehammer hair" is a term that refers to getting your head chopped up by an axe, and letting your blood create a truly unique color for your hair, which of course, is the color red. Surprisingly, brain damage isn't at all caused by this unique technique.

It was invented in the year 3338 by former 90's child actor, Mason Gamble while he was working on broadway. He shit his pants by accident, and ate the shitty contents inside of it to create "Sledgehammer hair" later on in his life.

It has since received numerous awards and critical acclaim from both critics and actors alike.

History[edit]

I already explained it above, dudes! Farewell in your loving lives, and goodbye native New Yorkers, please!

See also[edit]

Banana Water