Soupman
“I could be soupman. I just don't want to.”
“You're my hero, Soupman!”
Soupman is a super hero who flies around feeding dirty poor homeless people, even though they don't deserve it. Soupman's secret identity is Oprah who (contrary to popular belief) is a man.
Soupman can also make any kind of soup including the infamous crayon pickle juice soup that can kill the flying spaghetti monster that created the word yes.
What does he do?[edit | edit source]
Soup man (Oprah) flies around the the planet giving poor people food and money (which is usually spent on drugs). He mainly specializes in Africa helping little girls there, but sometimes Soupman will go to New York to frolic with the homeless people spreading wealth, happiness and hepatitis (no, I'm not worried about offending homeless people, they don't have computers! Lol!)
Where is Soupman?[edit | edit source]
Soupman can often be spotted flying around with Captain Planet (who's obviously Al Gore). Together they try to save the planet but will never succeed because most people are illiterate. If you don't know what an illiterate person is, you are one. You can also find him on his myspace page or lava life dating service (it is very hard to save the world feed the hungry and keep a relationship going). One of the most common misconceptions about is that he will appear if you are really hungry want soup and run around in a circle pretending you're a goat, this of course is not true but is a great form of exercise.
Greatest battles[edit | edit source]
By far one of soupmans greatest feats was to fight off Tom Cruise and his evil scientolgist alien army. Even though it may quite possibly be one of the greatest battles of all time not many people know of this attack because it is too long and complicated that every one who witnessed it would rather not explain it so the story has been lost to time.
Soupman has currently been busy helping President George W Bush set the time on his VCR (no one has told him about DVDs because they are scared he will kill them with his heat vision).