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Purchasing[edit | edit source]

If you buy something from us tell your friends about us. From time to time we will have a discounted sale. If you steal from us you'll have Ryan, who is sadly not a werewolf to deal with. Not onli thet butt I'1l hat-tac you wiv 1 ov mi pourli speldid centensies. Also after you have bought 10 things from us we will offer you a special contract which will look like this:

Sign Here
Shop owner signature: 
Parent/guardian sign here:
I sell my soul to the owner
Sign Here:
And here:
Mother's maiden name here:
Any previous pet's previous owner's previousgardener's:
Favourite colour here please:
And just sort of write a one-liner here:
Thank you.

Rules[edit | edit source]

  • No getting caught stealing
  • Give us the right amount of money or we send in the boys. They're really mean and they'll pillowslap you into embarrassment!
  • Give us comments about the quality of the item on the talk page, unless of course in your drug-induced hallucination the dog is the computer. In that case don't touch the computer - walk into the yellow swirling mass.
  • no verbal abuse to me or any of the other staff or you will be kicked out and banned for life glared at from across the street.
  • if you are staff be in work on time, and no more "ho ho ho" Santa jokes; we already killed that pimp for encroaching on T's territory.

Thank you.

Policies for the leap years occurring between 5066 and 55555[edit | edit source]

On this special year and day different policies are to be in force.

  • No spitting
  • No biting
  • No breaking laws
  • Softly whisper kind words softly in a melodic fashion while thinking about soft places to sit and rest