Superpolicies

Purchasing

If you buy something from us tell your friends about us. From time to time we will have a discounted sale. If you steal from us you'll have Ryan, who is sadly not a werewolf to deal with. Not onli thet butt I'1l hat-tac you wiv 1 ov mi pourli speldid centensies. Also after you have bought 10 things from us we will offer you a special contract which will look like this:

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Sign Here
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Shop owner signature: 
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Parent/guardian sign here:
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I sell my soul to the owner
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Sign Here:
And here:
Mother's maiden name here:
Any previous pet's previous owner's previousgardener's:
Favourite colour here please:
And just sort of write a one-liner here:
Thank you.
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Rules

• No getting caught stealing
• Give us the right amount of money or we send in the boys. They're really mean and they'll pillowslap you into embarrassment!
• Give us comments about the quality of the item on the talk page, unless of course in your drug-induced hallucination the dog is the computer. In that case don't touch the computer - walk into the yellow swirling mass.
• no verbal abuse to me or any of the other staff or you will be kicked out and banned for life glared at from across the street.
• if you are staff be in work on time, and no more "ho ho ho" Santa jokes; we already killed that pimp for encroaching on T's territory.

Thank you.

Policies for the leap years occurring between 5066 and 55555

On this special year and day different policies are to be in force.

• No spitting
• No biting
• No breaking laws
• Softly whisper kind words softly in a melodic fashion while thinking about soft places to sit and rest