Talking to trees

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Do it. Or we will find you.

Pine Tree: Hello? Anyobody heeerrreee?

Don't be shy you sad faggot. TALK TO THE TREE.

Pine Tree: Come out, come out, wherever you are! Tee hee hee!
You: Eh, I don't feel comfrotable talking to something that cannot support the proper organs required to think, much less speak.


You: As if. You don't even know my name!

But the tree does.

You: Huh?
Oak Tree: Hey, <insert name here>
You: Hey, how did you know that!?
Pine Tree: We all know. We know everything about you.
Willow Tree: Yes, we do.
Cherry Tree: Just like Bcbkye.
You: Oh my God, how many of you guys are there?
Maple Tree: As many species of trees there are.
You: And you stalk me?
Pine Tree: Yes, because I love to watch naked men! Tee hee hee!
You: What the fuck?
Oak Tree: Don't mind him, he is gay.
Maple Tree: He is queer. Different. I will contact the lumberjacks.
*dials phone*
Hello? Come chop this Pine Tree down. Thank you.
You: Thank god.
Oak Tree: Trot along now, cause if you don't we will KILL you. With PALE things that are GREEN.
You: PALE GREEN things? Oh shit! Eh... I think my meatloaf is burning!
*runs away*
Oak Tree: *Takes off suit*
Wow, I can't believe he fell for that one.
Willow Tree: Yep. Stupid <insert name here>! I can't believe he fell for that. I can't wait until school tomorrow and he tells us about the TALKING TREES!
Maple Tree: What a stupid fag. He probably spends all of his time on some stupid website and watches the Playboy channel!