That one family of ostriches I found in Botswana one Tuesday morning

Ok, I've got quite the story for you.

Ready?

Here we go:

The trip to Botswana

Exposition

I was sitting in my living room in Austria, ok? And I was working on the daily crossword. There was one particular clue, 4 down, that was really stumping me: "What do you get when you cross a road with a chicken?" I decided that I should find out for myself. As it happens, I had leftover chicken from steak n' shake. I went over to my kitchen, opened my fridge, and you'll never in a million years guess what I saw.

What did you see?

A chicken.

Fooled you there, didn't I?

If not, just pretend you did.

Back to the story

Anyways, I pulled out the chicken (and it was a live one, too), set it on the ground, and gave it a pat on the head. I suddenly realized that I should give it a collar and a leash, so that I wouldn't lose it. I took a bit of cloth, sewed it into a ring that fit the chicken's neck, and tied a rope to it. I went back over to the chicken to put it on, and he wasn't where I had left him. I scrambled around the house, desperately trying to find him, and eventually found him sitting in my living room, trying to solve my crossword! He pointed to 4 down and said, "I'm having a bit of trouble with this one. Could you help me?" I replied that I was working on that particular one, and that I needed the chicken to find out. The chicken happily agreed to cross the road with me. We trotted through the empty lanes of the road, but halfway through, something mysterious happened.

What happened?

The world around us vanished. The chicken and I were sucked into a vortex, gurgled, sloshed around, and spit back out onto a beaten road in Botswana.

I now had my answer to the question, "What do you get when you cross a road with a chicken?" You get a one way trip to Botswana.

I also had found the answer to the age old question, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" To solve today's crossword.

The ostriches

Survival

So me and the chicken decided to camp out for a few days, because we couldn't find the nearest town. We set up a tent made out of sticks and leaves, we made a campfire, and we ate blueberries. Don't ask how we got those, that's a story for another day. Anyways, On the sixth day, the chicken and I were startled to find that a family of ostriches had destroyed our camp, tied us to a stick, and carried us back to their camp.

Oh no they didn't!

"Don't you know not to dwell on our land on Tuesdays? Don't you know what we do to people who come here on Tuesdays?" one ostrich yelled at me.

"Now wait just a second," the chicken replied. "This human and I were just minding our own business, trying to find out how to get back to Austria, and then one morning, all of a sudden, we get attacked! We weren't planning on attacking you at all! I demand to know why you attacked us, and I also demand that you release us!"

The ostrich eyed the chicken. The chicken eyed the ostrich. The ostrich started laughing. The chicken was confused. The air started swirling around us, the ostriches started all laughing in unison, and my vision started dimming.

Dude that's freaky

All of a sudden, I appeared back in my chair. The chicken was no where to be found. The newspaper was still on the ground, so I picked it back up.

Clue 4 down now read: "What do you get when you cross an ostrich on a Tuesday?"

I entered, "A one way ticket to Austria."

See Also

1. REDIRECT Tractors