The Adventure In Which Absolutely Nothing Unusual Happens

Bob woke up and went over to the window. "Oh, look, it's raining hamsters", he said as the small furry creatures fell from the sky. He also noticed that a short, fat man was selling pre-owned souls to restless zombies for the low, low price of £29.95 per soul. Nothing unusual going on here he thought to himself, and went outside to go to the store to buy stuff.

He got to the store, glaring up at the billboard held up by huge towering pillars made of cheese, and finished with a thick layer of red-and-green flashing, seizure inducing cat fur. He could still tell it was cheese under that layer of seizure-fur because of the smell. The billboard read ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US. YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE, MAKE YOUR TIME. So, anyway, Bob walked into the store where they were having a huge sale on various different kinds of universe-destroying solar-eclipse mega-rays. "Ooh, I'll take 9000, please", he said to the half-wolf half-spider shop attendant.

She, or it could have been a he (as an anthropomorphic part-wolf part-spider its genitalia was both unique and ambiguous) gave Bob a condescending look and pointed to the sign above her head. It depicted a man eating his own head. Bob understand this to mean "Refunds Only" and left to walk embarrassedly past the now-50 strong queue of pirate ghost hookers. When he finally reached the correct counter he found that it had slipped through a crack in time and reality, ceasing to exist and yet existing everywhere at the same time, so he gave up and walked out the store without paying. The 23ft LCD TV store security guard tried to tempt him back through reverse psychology, but by accident he'd confused Bob with someone that actually gave two fnurdles, and quickly realised he'd failed.

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