The Evil Bloody Gory Haunting of the spooky dead Graveyard of Doom!
- The place: A deserted graveyard (Or is it deserted?) (It is.)
- The time: Unsure (My watch is broken.)
- The person: Me
- The prison: Alcatraz
- The parson: What is a parson, anyway?
- The parsnip: in a stew with some potatoes.
And now that the scene is set, we may begin this terrible tale...
Chapter 1: The awakening[edit | edit source]
John Bee woke up to the ringing of his Mickey Mouse alarm clock. "Yaaawn!" he said. Now that he was awakened, he went into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He applied some toothpaste, and began scrubbing.
"Wait as minute!" you might say, "This is supposed to be happening in a graveyard!" You would be absolutely right. John Bee noticed this too. Then he realized that he was in fact not holding a toothbrush, but a huge knife which he was cutting off his face with, coated not in toothpaste, but in blood and various facial organs. Then he realized that his alarm clock was not in fact an alarm clock, it was a screaming zombie.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" he yelled, running for his life as the zombie pursued him.
Chapter 2: The disembowelling[edit | edit source]
NOTE: The following paragraphs contain graphic descriptions of people's toenails being pulled out, people's teeth being melted by the foul breath of decomposing corpses, people being buried alive in smelly internal organs, and people slowly dyeing each-other's hair hot pink. Therefore, they have been replaced by a more appropriate story.
One day, the pink and yellow pony was feeling rather sick, so he decided to go tell the orange pony. "Pony powers, activate!" he said launching into the air with unbelievably beautiful speed, right before raising his head high, and singing
- "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, I am feeling blue...
- I don't know what to do...
- So I'll sing out, and be as happy as happy could be.
- Lalalalalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalalala lalalalalalalalalalala
- La la la la la la HAPPY la la la la SMILE la la la la la la DEATH "
Chapter 3: The recovery[edit | edit source]
"Golly!" said Martha, surveying the carnage. "That sure was awful. How will we ever get this brain juice off of us? And these bits of ground-up lung? I'll have to go to the dry cleaners again. I hope that was painless for the kitten, since it sure didn't look like it from here."
Meanwhile John Bee, the new zombie king, contemplated how to destroy Martha. She used to be a cop, so he was thinking of sending the barf-monsters after her, but then he remembered that she always carried a harpoon gun. This was going to be difficult. He decided he would do best to send some snot-beings, because they are awesome.
The snot-beings approached as Martha innocently chewed on some rotting flesh. As they crept up behind her, she quickly spun around and booted up her harpoon gun, but it was no use. She had to resort to kung-fu.
"Hwiiiiiiiiya!" She screamed, opening up a severe can o' fannywhuppin' on the booger beings. One of them exploded, causing jelly beans to rain down upon her. She ate one, and it split open, revealing a huge bundle of weed.