The Great Squirrel War

DVD showcasing the Great Squirrel War - In color!

The Great Squirrel War is one of the most famous rodent conflicts to arise since the first Mouse V Cat War in Ancient Egypt - the Great Squirrel War involved countless squirrels and resulted in the formation of the United Acorn which would monitor squirrel activities after this war and into the modern age.

The Great Squirrel War

Causes

For many years squirrels had been living in relative harmony with one another, forming independent states that were equal yet separate from one another: this peace was to be broken when the Grabby Toes Empire decided to ally with the Flying Tree-Rats to steal the acorns of other states.

The other squirrel states were quick to ally in defence of their acorns and the stage was set for the Great Squirrel War - there is also a persistant (but false) legend that the Grabby Toes Empire was planning an alliance with the Stinky Rat Regime, in truth no mice or rats were involved in the conflict and even if they were nobody would want to ally with stinky rats..

Squirrel States Involved

United Tree-Rats

The United Tree-Rats were one of the most powerful squirrel-states (and remain so) with the largest supply of acorns, the United Tree-Rats were also pioneers in the development of new squirrel weaponry and were the first squirrel state to have a fully functional Shoe-Cannon (while the second leading developer of squirrel weaponry only got as far as experimental Sock-Cannons). The United Tree-Rats also had the more experienced of the squirrel troops and were mostly armed with standard Peanut-Blasters, Anti-Nut Helmet and Gnaw-Proof Vests: unlike the Flying Tree-Rats the United Tree-Rats did not have much in the way of an air-force but made for it by creating effective Potato-Throwers that could take down most flying enemies.

Flying Tree-Rats

The Flying Tree-Rats were the third most powerful squirrel-state next to the Grabby Toes Empire and the United Tree-Rats, originally a part of the United Tree-Rats the Flying Tree-Rats broke free during a small-scale rebellion known as the Tree-Rat Tussle and formed their own state far away from their original home.

The Flying Tree-Rats allied with the Grabby Toes Empire when the latter decided to try and steal acorns from other squirrel-states and provided the Grabby Toes Empire with support, they were always kind of annoyed at being the third most powerful but were immensely proud of the fact they didn't quite suck as much as the Union Of The Fluffy Tail.

The Flying Tree-Rats had a sizable air-force but did squat-all when it came to fighting on the ground, their ground troops consisting of little more than inexperienced squirrels with boxing-gloves: this did not stop them from managing to beat up many Union Of The Fluffy Tail ground troops however with many bruised noses and dented egoes being reported.

During the final stages of the Great Squirrel War the Flying Tree-Rats were planning on building a giant mechanical squirrel by the name of Squirrelbot-1000 but only got as far as drawing a goofy picture: this picture is now being held at Area Nutmeg in the United Tree-Rats state where, according to conspiracy theories, squirrel scientists are working on completing the project for use by the United Tree-Rats.

Union Of The Fluffy Tail

The Union Of The Fluffy Tail was (and remains) the worst squirrel-state of all time, made even more tragic by the fact they believe themselves to be the best: during the Great Squirrel War it was the Union Of The Fluffy Tail that was targetted the most by the Grabby Toes Empire and the Flying Tree-Rats due to the fact their efforts at fighting back backfired horribly.

Luckily for the Union Of The Fluffy Tail they were allies with the United Tree-Rats and with help were able to survive the conflict with only half their acorn supply vanishing (though later reports would find a large majority of the Union Of The Fluffy Tail's acorns had been devoured by their own citizens).

The Union Of The Fluffy Tail did have a reasonably sized ground-unit however, unfortunately the Union Of The Fluffy Tail did not invest in any weaponry and simply had their troops run around with nothing but fur: making them an easy target for Stinkbombs, Peanut-Blasters and Sock-Cannons.

Grabby Toes Empire

The Grabby Toes Empire were the second most powerful squirrel-state but were also a bunch of mean poopyheads who broke the peace between squirrel-states by deciding to steal acorns from other squirrel-states.

The Grabby Toes Empire allied with the Flying Tree-Rats in order to try and achieve this but were opposed by the Union Of The Fluffy Tail, unfortunately the Union of The Fluffy Tail sucked.

Thankfully the United Tree-Rats came to the Union Of The Fluffy Tail's aid and evened out the conflict.

The Grabby Toes Empire was big and powerful but also pretty darn stupid - too lazy to gather their own acorns they stole acorns from others but were very adept at doing so.

Grabby Toes Empire troops were armed with Seed-Spitters, Anti-Nut Helments and Gnaw-Proof Vests and in the latter years of the conflict managed to create the Sock-Cannon: which would remain the most dreaded instrument of squirrel warfare until the creation of the Shoe-Cannon a year later.

Leaders

.. They are squirrels, you honestly think we're going to bother list their leaders? I mean, do you know how many freaking squirrels there are!?

...

.......

no, just no..

go away.

The Turning Point

When the United Tree-Rats created the Shoe-Cannon things dramatically changed, faced with the prospect of having shoes thrown at them in large quantities both the Flying Tree-Rats and Grabby Toes Empire had no choice but to surrender.

Aftermath

Shortly after the end of the the Great Squirrel War the United Acorn was set up to try and improve squirrel relationships - it still exist to this day and we'd try to get a squirrel to comment on how the current state of affairs are going but most we came across simply sniffed at us, chittered and occassionally bit us.. at least some things remain the same..