The Great and Unholy Potato

Consider yourself lucky that you are not currently being eviscerated by a giant olive.

They work for him...

Late in 1983 a meeting was called between the vegetable people and the evil gnomes. It was decided that the gnomes would use vegetables to kill babies.

With the signing of the great and unholy treaty of zex, the ground shook and gave forth a huge potato.

Anyone who looks into the eye of the Great and Unholy Potato shall be turned into a pedophile instantly, and taken away by the Police.

The Great and Unholy potato lurks at the edge of the Staples Center, and waits for bands that suck to exit... where it will eat them alive while raping their children and burning everything that they own.

So try to dodge the forks.