The Royal Navy
When I joined the Navy the first thing I noticed was the smell of fresh salt air. Disappointing then, to find out the Royal Navy was now a spaceship.
Eventually I was kicked out because they found me making love to an industrial stapler.
The book I started writing was on fire in the first place so I dabbed it with some wet wipes before beginning my memoirs. Even then I had to clear the workspace (which was an inflatable bean bag) and set up the desktop lighting system.
It was so dark outside, I found it hard to believe it was day. It was undoubtedly daytime. But my watch had broke that evening.
Anyway... my story was just about to begin, when all of a sudden a giant tornado ripped apart my clean socks. I dropped my pen and stared at an oyster.
I get carried away sometimes.