This an article? Preposterous!

No no no no no this can not be an article! Because if this were an article you would be reading it... which you are which makes this an articleanite? But to make this a TRUE articleanite! It would have to have the word zinkoff in it... which it now does. This is absurd! i have no reason for playing pee wee baseball now! To the volly ball try outs!

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Still not an article yet

Nope. Still not an article. c'mon, dude, just face the potato. It's never going to be an article. It might be a frog, but not an article. It doesn't follow the Rules of Existence yet. Because only a nothing could possibly follow the Rules of Backing a Pancake up a Wall.

Nope

Well, are you going to sit there on your fat ass or do something about it? I got an idea, Mr. Lard: Fly a bird to the left in time and have it bite a dinograwk in the left m00n! Yeah, that should start World War III do it.