User:Benedict Blade/The Polish Mafia

Baltazar, the honourary boss, had just finished chewing on the end of his tooth brush. It was time for some action, and everyone in the room knew it.

"Righttt ladsh. This morneng we had twelve VHS players, five box-sets of American Dad, and twelve Kebab leaflets. Right now we have twenty-seven VHS players, eleven box-sets of American Dad, a 'Lord Of The Rings' key-ring and nineteen Kebab leaflets. It's not good enough guysh. One of you has too go!"

Fryderyk: But boss, there's not enough left of value in Salford. Take that Etch-O-Sketch we found - it was covered with piss, and had blood stains on the nozzles. We were never gonna sell it!

Balatazar: You make a good point Frydy. But we couldn't stay in Warsaw, and you know that. Those dogs took everything we had - including Jerzy (may god rest his soul). We're extremely lucky his "Grandmother" over here is deaf and senile - I don't think she knows she has a garage, never mind us living in here.

Pawel: Boss, we can't live like this. I can't read English yet and even I know that 'Winalot' stuff you get us isn't Pasta Sauce.

Baltazar: Okay, okay. Listen up. This is the best we got. Unless we learn how to take up plumbing very quickly, we're not gonna get any better than this.

The 'plan'

Two days of attempted sleep have passed since the confrontation with the boss, and due to a minor fire caused by Pawel trying to cook a can of Deodorant, the entire food stock has been lost.

Pawel: Oh... so that's what 'flammable' meant