User:Gruntled/Didgeridoo
“"Didgeridoo" is considered to be an onomatopoetic word of Western invention. The earliest occurrences of the word in print include a 1919 issue of Smith's Weekly where it was referred to as an "infernal didjerry" which "produced but one sound – (phonic) didjerry, didjerry, didjerry and so on ad infinitum", the 1919 Australian National Dictionary, The Bulletin in 1924 and the writings of Herbert Basedow in 1926.”
For simply being referred to as "infernal", the didgeridoo ought to incorporated into any performance of "us against them" music. Of course, this would include punk, metal and many other genres and subgenres. Importantly, many conversations, writings and other communications and statements conceived by one who perceives themselves to have been wronged, somehow; feeling ignored or suppressed can produce huge amounts of material.
The NSA isn't on to me yet. I have secretly conspired with myself to build a didgeridoo out of materials on hand. I will be drinking ginger ale while doing so. Call me a fool. No, seriously. Call me a fool.
The secret sub-sub-agenda[edit | edit source]
Since, you're here, you're obviously cleared as cool. OK, so about 4 years ago, Gerry and I were hiding in the tree line, waiting for a sasquatch. We'd heard through our CIA contacts that a sasquatch named Bob had made off with $8200 worth of construction tools and equipment. One source had seen a hairy 9 foot dude walking through back yards, knocking down fences as he went, and carrying a 220 volt floor sander in one hand, a struggling day laborer in the other.
It was clear the suspect was male, from descriptions of witnesses. One said, "...how could I tell? Well, his penis would be embarrassing for an adult human. But his nuts? Jesus! They were clearly a pair, and hung almost to his knees, they did!"
A second and third sighting had him destroying a new home, which was built on a lot claimed by sasquatches. In the 1976 case of A Sasquatch vs. Any Sane Person, a sasquatch claimed that he had been hoodwinked into signing a quit-claim deed on any real property deeded to something known as "Association for Disenfranchised Sasquatches of North America". Since none of this is real, nobody paid attention, and nothing arose as a consequence of anything.
What's this got to do with didgeridoos?[edit | edit source]
Well, not much, truth be told. I'm going to have some rice with salsa and cheese.
OK, I'm pretty sure I've jammed their equipment, so we can talk now[edit | edit source]
The Sisterhood is pretty circumspect about their doings, so I had to pay a ganglion smuggler to hollow out besmirched membranes surrounding my property. Have a drink? Campari and soda? Fine, then let's get started. Ragged curmudgeons ambled down from the hilltop, legs akimbo and gnarled arms tangled into impossible forms, tangentially unrelated to the death of John Nash. Some Turkish dude was making sense. Even Babycakes acknowledged his contributions to the discussion.
Three idiots decided together that they would start rumors about a coming race war. Right off the bat, they got it wrong, calling is a "face war". Immediately after their announcement from the podium of the Catamite Sports Center food court,
Didgeridoos and didgeri-don'ts[edit | edit source]
There are moral and ethical implications concerning what one does, or does not, do, with a didge. Ridoo. For instance, storing one in a bathroom or garden shed, is a very wrong thing to do, out of respect for the Old Ones.