Wadsworth's Candles

Wadsworth had some candles that he pretended were his pet ants. He carved them in the shape of ants, and then buried them in a tank. They melted, but he rebuilt them and gave them massages with his mother's vibrator.

He'd found his mother's vibrator in a drawer, and stolen it, replacing it with a carrot.

Wadsworth also had some ants that he pretended were candles. He made them sit still, then taped a photograph of fire to them and basked in their warmth. The life! He thought about his past experiences with ants. He'd once saved one from being crushed by a car. Or was that a cockroach? He stapled a picture of a cockroach to his bedroom door, just in case.

I'm not sure why Wadsworth did this.

Wadsworth felt it was important, however, just like he thought it was important to take off all of his clothes and expose his rear end to the sunrise every morning.

Then he ate some fuzz that he found beneath the couch.