Waffleboarding

Waffleboarding is the cruel and torturous treatment that waffles receive around the world everyday. It was invented by waffle lovin' CIA chief John O. Brennan, who was looking for a way to interrogate waffles about why they were overcooked, or why the holes inside of them are so bloody uneven. It was also of interest as to how one waffle carried classified documents into the grill and charred them slightly. Unsuprisingly, it was actually Brennan's fault himself, but hey, the CIA don't apologise!

Waffleboarding was actually declassified in 2013 but has only picked up in popularity recently. Waffles have feelings, and the immense stress of being waffleboarded has a permanent traumatic effect on the waffle and its family. Researchers estimate that 13.3% of waffles currently existing in the world have been waffleboarded at least once before being eaten. This also disrupts the breeding system for waffles, as waffleboarding causes the waffle to stress out during consumption; typically, waffles enjoy being eaten as it is a status symbol for their tastiness.