War! HWUH! Yeah! What Is It Good For?

War! What is it good for? The hippies and haters of war in this world would have you believe that it is good for absolutely nothing. In reality, this could not be further from the truth.

THE TRUTH

For starters, war is good for killing. Killing is something war is good for. Just to reiterate, War, the act of organised widescale fighting, is good for killing. Stick that statement in your anti-war song and smoke it. This can either be viewed as a negative, if you're a shrub-hugging commie-hippie bumlicker, or as a big positive, if you're a Nazi weapons dealer, like me. manly man.

Killing isn't the only thing war is good for. It is also excellent for being killed. Need to die but can't be bothered to hang yourself? Just start an international war. Modern military technologies coupled with astoundingly thick people in charge of the big red buttons virtually guarantee your death.

War is also great for fans of having their homes destroyed and families killed by high explosive. Where else than war can you be on the recieving end of a bloody great cruise missile? No-where. That's where. Ever wanted to be woken up in the night by high calibre rounds punching holes through your bedroom walls? War, baby.

Blacks got you down? Whites causing you grief? Muslims getting up in your grill? Get into a position of power, blame your least favourite race or religion for your countries issues, and watch as war makes the bad people go away.

Still not convinced? Women have fought in some wars too, and they have boobs. I rest my case.