Why is a raven like a writing desk?
- 'It couldn't be because a raven could be written on,' said Alice, 'although I'm sure I have a scalpel at home with which I can test such a theory.'
- 'It couldn't be because a writing desk has tendencies to caw and stare evilly whilst sitting on a skull,' said Alice, 'although if I were to give hallucinogenics to Charles Darwin it may become feasible.'
- 'Perhaps a raven is, despite common belief, made of wooden material?,' Alice wondered.
- 'Or, of course, perhaps not. Human perception is quite questionable,' said the grandfather clock next to her.
- 'And yours isn't? Don't tell me you have the key to the ultimate reality?,' conspired Alice.
- 'Well well,' said the clock, complacently, 'It just so happens that I do. But said key is actually invisible, and requires,' the clock then pulled out a black bottle with
RohypnolRed Pill in Liquid Form
- written on the front, 'this fascinating liquid to be consumed.'
- 'Oh!,' exclaimed Alice, 'thankyou for this wonderful opportunity! How may I ever repay such generosity?'
- 'Don't worry,' said the clock soothingly, 'I think I'll work it out myself, and let you know.'
Alice then took a large swig of the bottle and fell to the ground. As she slept she dreamt an ominous dream, in which a raven and a writing desk both took it upon themselves to assault her physically. As she screamed, bleeding and in agony, she asked rhetorically,
- 'Why has this happened to me?,' upon which the ultimate reality replied,
- 'Hey! Only one philosophical question per article, okay?'