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Xanax is the street name for a chemical behavioral modifier being pushed into mainstream America by the CIA. The country and its territories are saturated with sleeper agents who, at the right time are given instructions to flood our mind brainules with invasive kaizuming their fruit of the loom. Statistically, if you are reading this and you are American, you are under the influence of xanax right now. In fact, what you've just read is not what it actually says. If you are not under the influence of xanax, you would have read that macrame owls bought a controlling interest in a Chinese knife manufacturing company.

Don't be fooled by your friendly local greengrocer. He or she is probably a sniveling cartographic bastard cleric of the sub-basement religion of Catharticism.