The Un-United States of Racism and Jewry
|This page has dyeurs coloures.
This means your life is fucked.
- "American" redirects here. For the residents of North America, see Americans
|Motto: "In arms we trust"|
|Anthem: American Idiot by Green Day|
|Largest city||New Death, New York, New Monaco|
|Official languages||English, American,homeless|
|Government||Free for all insanity, Stat!|
|Prime Minister||Coach Z|
|National Hero(es)||Blah Clinton|
|Population||Too many to count|
|Area||Width of John Goodman's stomach|
|Population density||Many dents|
|Ethnic groups||Hicks, er, and normal people, yehhhooo!|
|Major imports||Weed, Oil, Oil, Oil|
|Favourite pastime||Tischtennis, Punctuation Abuse,!.|
|Opening hours||Classified information, citizen!|
|Calling code||555 - OMERYKA or|
“Mummy always told me never to talk to strangers!”
It is known to be the land of the free and oil, which it takes readily from the Middle East. (What? Don't look at me that way, I said it takes "Free" from the Middle East! :P ) America one day discovered that its immense stockpile of sweeties was running dangerously low, so it decided friends would have to be made. In return for many sweeties America formed a "special relationship" with Britain, a country renowned for its industrial sweet mines. The Special Relationship is noted as being special, because it is a one way affair; as payment for the sweeties America politically face-rapes their faithful comrade. Fair I guess. But hey, they're not all bad, most of them are upstanding members of
the Global Community Illogicopedia.
America was founded in the late 18th century by a group of intellectuals in an attempt to establish what would come to be known world wide as a paragon of freedom, toleration and free religion. They failed miserably. The greatest contributions that America (scientific name: Muricus bigotus) has contributituted to the world is Illogicopedia, Nuclear weaponry, and... I don't know, maybe Jazz. Yeah, let's go with that. This history of this astounding nation lends itself to one purely undeniable truth: Americans are lazy as fu#K. The average american will consume between 19000 to 19000000 pounds of processed shit every day, in an attempt to rival the African death toll. We will not be outdone.
America is like, totally Square. "[ ]"
- See also: Americans
America decided to become a regular shape --a kind of Americanadihedran-- after a while because of criticism to their scalene quadrilateral form had been made public ahdjndnxnxmxksksksksskskskzksk cheese after "An audience with Barry Scott" and after thwarting my attempts to win uber-employee of the lunar month for several seasons; America was declared uber.
America as a donut
So what kind of donut would you be if you were a donut uncle Sam? "Well, let me see er... a double glazed, chocolate, pineapple delight with sprinkles and that pink goo you get on the side. Er... you know that pink goo? The one with the little chocolate bits and the raisins and the mini nuclear warheads? Now that is one tasty ice cream!"
Yes, but we were talking about donuts.
"Oh spit, I did it again."
Merryca, a spin off from America located somewhere in the Pacific Ocean, is a place where everyone sits in their car and laughs. All the time. America fuck
Yeah riding off into the motherfucking sunset!!!
Merica' had a war with Spain in 1937 where Merica' won by using cowboy hats as ninja stars.
|This article is illogical enough to have made it onto the front page.
View more featured articles • Vote for new featured articles