Xi Jinping

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Winnie, the silly old bear

The most gracious and most merciful ruler of the great Kingdom of China AKA Winnie the Pooh.

Xi was not always so merciful, and in fact was once largely viewed as un-bear-able, but he mellowed in his time at the helm of the country.

Documentaries[edit | edit source]

In 2023, the amazing documentary Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey was released. It chronicles Xi's blood-soaked rise through the ranks of the Party, in his personal quest to gain control over all the honey and its production throughout the Kingdom. Xi's quest was ultimately successful, but the details have been difficult to piece together, given how few of the witnesses survived.

It is after this achievement of his that Xi entered a new stage in his political career, and became known for his graciousness and mercifulness, delivering bear-hugs to all in the world, including those who opposed him. (This is seldom captured in any modern footage, due to the difficulties of working a camera while suffocating.)