All Time Low

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According to teenage girls on the internet who enjoy calling themselves 'pop-punk', the band All Time Low is like, so perf omg. They have gained a significant following amongst high school girls, emo kids, and social justice warriors on Tumblr (despite the fact that the band is entirely comprised of men, yet they could pass off as feminine enough to fight the pastry-archy).

All I know about them is that they seem to live in Baltimore as I can provide no other reason why they're always writing songs about Good Morning Baltimoredale, as well as wanting to move out of town and eat pizza all the time, as most other pop-punk bands do. They also write really sad breakup songs and form spontaneous conga lines during their concerts, often resulting in tidal waves of teenage girls.

Perhaps a quality of the band which has found them most relatable to young audiences is their lyrical content. Besides the occasional swearing and general edgery (often warning labels are placed on their album covers, classifying their themes and language as being too edgy for some individuals), many songs by the band have been claimed to be overtly depressing (and thence really good, apparently). An excerpt from one of their most popular tracks is provided below:

It's such a shame that we play strangers
You left us after season one
It's such a shame that you look somewhat rectangular in appearance
Oh, Calamity.

The band are currently touring in Baltimore, as they still can't quite figure out how the heck to actually leave their hometown.

Also, they have bribed the Top 40 not to put any of their songs on it.

See also[edit | edit source]