Death

From Illogicopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
Hartman.jpg

Hey, you! Yes, you!
Some anally-retentive person wants you to know this article appears to have something in it that contradicts the article Soul (probably in a minor way). Please do nothing to remedy this.

Hartman.jpg
An A grade if ever I saw one

Death was a course available to GCSE and A-Level students. The subject had no coursework, and to pass all the pupil had to do was die in the allotted exam time, using nothing but the test paper given, their pencils and optionally a calculator. (No lids). Any blood or organs spilled onto other students desks was considered cheating and resulted in that student forfeiting their grade. The two years of study before largely consisted of advanced paper cutting techniques, suppressing their immune system and establishing a complex mobile phone copying ring. Many took the exam early. Despite the all-round good grades achieved, a reported 0% of graduates went on to future employment and the subject was subsequently discontinued.

Anything else?[edit]

You can also acquire Death from eating Death Cheese and bringing it on down. The most important fact of the Five Seals is: NOT EVEN DEATH CAN SAVE YOU FROM ME!!!

Death and Time[edit]

Death has close connections with time. They can be used together to form deathtime, which is used since 2107i. Time is used with death using the powerful RANDOM+++ computer in the forest.

Common causes of death[edit]

  • obesity (US)
  • starvation
  • suicide
  • wet floors
  • suicide by wet floors
  • IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM
  • ethnic spring cleaning
  • natural causes
  • supernatural causes
  • drugs (meet me in the forums)
  • Nazis
  • Communists
  • Communist-Nazis
  • Nazi-Communists
  • Any combination of Nazis and Communism
  • water-induced drowning
  • dehydration
  • violent, violent sex
  • violent, violent violence
  • moderate violence
  • any kind of violence, really
  • death
  • Gods having a bad day
  • over-consumption of towelettes
  • clowns
  • zombie clowns
  • robot clowns
  • just stay away from clowns, man
  • your hot neighbor
  • That rather suspicious taco
  • Jack the ripper
  • Jack the ripper's left shoe
  • English professors
  • travel magazines
  • the demon that hides under your bed
  • the demon that hides in you closet
  • the demon that hides under your closet
  • the demon inside
  • the demon that hides in terms and conditions
  • the demon that hides inside the terms and conditions under your closet
  • basically just demons
  • Apache ghosts
  • war
  • peace
  • anything with legs
  • fire
  • flames
  • spiders
  • flaming spiders (AKA the apocalypse)
  • more violence
  • but in reality, mostly just disease
  • life

Not shown here: flaming spider demons that live in the terms and conditions under your closet, Jack the rippers right shoe, horse radish.

Flavors of death[edit]

Illoginews prototype logo.png
IllogiNews has a story about Death:

The most common flavors of death are:

  • Grilled salsa
  • Salt & Vinegar
  • Ranch dressing
  • Garlic
  • Sour Cream

Though, local variations occur. Most notably, the most popular flavor of death in Mexico is Music. In Europe, death is most commonly served with a cold tomato soup, otherwise unflavored or pickled.

This article is part of the
ILLOGICOPEDIA GUIDE TO DEATH
Skull.jpg

Canned DeathDeadDeadnessDeathDeath by sparrowDeath by toasterDeath CheeseDiedDyingEverybody will die.Holy Hand Grenade of AntiochHow to be only slightly deadHow to dieI'm dying!IllogiNews:Death is imminent, one study showsIllogiNews:Man DiesKillKilldèList of Dead PeopleList of Reasons Not To Kill You In Cold Blood Right Where You StandLuck of the IrishNew DeathNoodle of deathPainful deathPeople who are deadSpontaneous Combustion THE CURSED WIKI ARTICLEThe fly's deadThe gnomes plotting your deathThe hex code of deathThe Ultimate Destructo Death MachineThere is a killer in your houseThis article causes deathTop 10 ways to dieTop Ten Places to DieWave of babies10099 Red Balloons     Add >>>