I Made a Salad

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I made a salad, and then I ate it. I made a salad and ate it, even though
I had no proper ingredients. All I had were household objects.
I had no ledduce, but I had some paper.
So I took the paper and colored it green
And I ripped it up so it resembled ledduce
And I bought some ledduce-scented perfume
From a STORE (I got their only bottle. Lucky.)
And I dumped the perfume on the paper, so it smelled authentic.
Then, I took the paper and put it in a bowl.
Now, I needed some carrots.
All I had were earplugs, made of foam.
Luckily, they were orange, and roughly carrot shaped, so I put them in.
Next, the bread. I like bread in salad. That crunchy stuff.
I didn't have any.
But I did have a bag of marbles.
I dumped in all of the marbles, even the big one.
Next, I found a red ping pong ball to be a tomato.
Then, I went outside, and pulled some grass out of my lawn
To give the salad an authentic, plantish taste.
And then, I needed dressing. Alas, this would be difficult.
I found some paint. It was white.
I put it in a bottle, and mixed in some clumps of congealed glue.
I shook the bottle violently, then dumped it on my salad.
Then, the party guests arrived, and I put the salad on a table.
They loved it. They asked for the recipe. I told them it was a family secret.
They went home, I suppose.
THEN I LOOKED AT MY CEILING AND IT WAS COVERED IN LADYBUGS.
THEN I LOOKED AT MY CEILING AND IT WAS COVERED IN LADYBUGS.
THEN I LOOKED AT MY CEILING AND IT WAS COVERED IN LADYBUGS.
They were bumping into the lightbulb, over and over again.
If I were to staple a picture of a lightbulb to the ceiling, would they still bump into it?