IllogiNews:Itchy butt porn sub-genre fails to fill theatres

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They couldn't make toys, because of their crinkled hands.

CATTLE PROD, Wisconsin -- Baluster consultant and award-winning film maker Norman Singeant Polevaulter III has declared Chapter 88 bankruptcy as investors in his wallowing itchy butt franchise, "Butts Going Nuts" tanked at 58 exotic venues around the United States this week. "It seems that instinct has failed me this time," said a morose and divested Polevaulter, during a break from fielding his team in the Blotto Pigeon Race in Southampton this morning. "The Clark Gable voice in my head has never steered me wrong before. I don't understand... how can you not get off on people surreptitiously scratching their asses for pleasure?"

Despite chaos and rioting in central Serbian Camelpress, emergency igloos were erected in a matter of hours throughout the tundraic industrial complex. Regional coverage of the events triggered an alms-spring to the bushes, next to Mount Rushmore. Pushing his evil twin into the fire, perhaps for the last time, Reince Priebus took a sleeping pill, and promptly, he dozed.

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