IllogiNews:Lactose intolerance harnessed as WMD
This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.
BRICK, New Jersey
Renegade lactose intolerant militants have met their match in Dick Cheney's Mammary-based Weapon of Mass Destruction. The actual workings of the 6 ton bomb remain a government secret, but sources inside Cheney's man-safe tell IllogiNews that, "those shifty brown types are taking us seriously."
General Electric has contracted lactose ore extraction operations, currently being operated in 42 undisclosed locations. "We're not going to get involved in any extradition nonsense, not this time. We learned our lesson from Halliburton," said GE spokesperson and pillaging enthusiast Yank Palliative.
Rival Dutch concern Royal Bastards Plumbing & Antiquities brought doughnuts and these weird Italian pastries with fish on the tops, but we still wouldn't let them in.
Famed Diskosherist Lance Armstrong has gone on record saying, "MWMDs are no less a religious weapon than catapulting pig brains boiled in milk into Jerusalem. It should be outlawed, like the Bat Fuck Howitzer and rutting buck piss."