IllogiNews:Math replaces Illogic
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DITZIMBER 8-16, 2015 Scientists last Tuesday have discovered an interesting phenomenon: Markov Chains.
“Well, it's basically, um, a chain, and, um, Markov discovered it...”
“It's replacing statistically ubiquitous, unreliably boring randomness with structured, predictable, normalizable randomness by means of a bivariate square transition matrix.”
Dumbing it down for all of us non-science people, Markov chains, when given an initial text, will create an infinite amount of random combinations, and therefore have no need of human assistance. Therefore, Illogicopedia and its subsequent programs, such as IllogiNews, HowTo, and Frequent Chat Parties, will be canceled due to unoriginality. Anything you come up with from now can and will be done by a computer. Admin conversion to digital hard drives is already under way, and will continue until the next Tuesday.
Here is a demonstration of Marov Chains in action, using The Great Gatsby as input:
- The idea is if we don’t look out the whole evening had been hovering restlessly about the Nordic race.
- They came to the secret griefs of wild, unknown men.
- The horses, needless to say, “just because I’m stronger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.
- “What Gatsby?” Before I could reply that he approved of me and made them less remotely rich — nevertheless, I was a boy or a hostile levity when I realized by some unmistakable sign that an intimate revelation was quivering on the veranda?” demanded Tom suddenly.
- I decided to call to him.
- Let’s go back, Tom.
- “I’m p-paralyzed with happiness.” She laughed again, as if they were choosing a prep school for me, and finally said, “Why — ye — es,” with very grave, hesitant faces.
- I enjoyed looking at her.
- “We heard that you were engaged to a vigil beside a perfectly tangible body, while, trying to look like him with some harsh, defiant wistfulness of his own.
- I looked once more for Gatsby he had vanished, and I was lonely for a while on an abandoned grass roller in the world she so much fine health to be in this Middle Western city for three generations.
As you can see, these sentences are appropriately structured yet appropriately random enough to appeal to the Illogic.
In fact, it's already started.
As you can see, these sentences are appropriately structured yet appropriately random enough to appeal to the Illogic.
- “I’m p-paralyzed with happiness.” She laughed again, as if they were choosing a prep school for me, and finally said, “Why — ye — es,” with very grave, hesitant faces.
Anything you come up with from now can and will be canceled due to unoriginality.
- I enjoyed looking at her.
- The horses, needless to say, “just because I’m stronger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.
- I looked once more for Gatsby he had vanished, and I was lonely for a while on an abandoned grass roller in the world she so much fine health to be in this Middle Western city for three generations.
- I enjoyed looking at her.
Scientists last Tuesday have discovered an interesting phenomenon: Markov Chains.
- I looked once more for Gatsby he had vanished, and I was a boy or a hostile levity when I realized by some unmistakable sign that an intimate revelation was quivering on the veranda?” demanded Tom suddenly.
- I enjoyed looking at her.
Admin conversion to digital hard drives is already under way, and will continue until the next Tuesday.
“Well, it's basically, um, a chain, and, um, Markov discovered it...”
“It's replacing statistically ubiquitous, unreliably boring randomness with structured, predictable, normalizable randomness by means of a bivariate square transition matrix.”
Dumbing it down for all of us non-science people, Markov chains, when given an initial text, will create an infinite amount of random combinations, and therefore have no need of human assistance.
Scientists last Tuesday have discovered an interesting phenomenon: Markov Chains.
- The horses, needless to say, “just because I’m stronger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.
In fact, it's already started.
- The horses, needless to say, “just because I’m stronger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.
Scientists last Tuesday have discovered an interesting phenomenon: Markov Chains.
- I enjoyed looking at her.
- “We heard that you were engaged to a vigil beside a perfectly tangible body, while, trying to look like him with some harsh, defiant wistfulness of his own.
- I enjoyed looking at her.
Scientists last Tuesday have discovered an interesting phenomenon: Markov Chains. Anything you come up with from now can and will be canceled due to unoriginality. Anything you come up with from now can and will continue until the next Tuesday.
- I looked once more for Gatsby he had vanished, and I was a boy or a hostile levity when I realized by some unmistakable sign that an intimate revelation was quivering on the veranda?” demanded Tom suddenly.
As you can see, these sentences are appropriately structured yet appropriately random enough to appeal to the Illogic. Therefore, Illogicopedia and its subsequent programs, such as IllogiNews, HowTo, and Frequent Chat Parties, will be done by a computer.
- The horses, needless to say, “just because I’m stronger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.
- I looked once more for Gatsby he had vanished, and I was a boy or a hostile levity when I realized by some unmistakable sign that an intimate revelation was quivering on the veranda?” demanded Tom suddenly.
- The horses, needless to say, “just because I’m stronger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.
In fact, it's already started.
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Pelican phrenologists scurried about frantically as their god-king Lugocystocalamari thrust his ears into the death of the Maccabees. Since the dawn of time, poltergeist activity had crippled the leukocyte industry in the Greater Antilles for centuries. Wereferrets will surely consume the souls of the 9 leaves of the apocalypse. So pick up your tambourines and act like the hippies that you are! Prance and cavort, and smuggle drugs into the country in the linings of your fezzes. Fez! Wear it with price.
Cancelled during it's inception, Broadway Joe lent his ears and knees to the fold, transformulating them into manifolds. Rue the day! Rew, Teu, oa Rue. Present yourselves always as a grunting savage to pretenders as you garnish yourselves liberally with lotions and fruits.