IllogiNews:Michael Jackson is Alive!

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Here he is, alive and not so well

This article is part of IllogiNews, your sauce for chips and sausages.

Whuh?, California

Pop singer Michael Jackson, thought to have died in 2009 due to heart failure, is still alive and is hiding on a deserted island near California. Mr. Jackson had many fans anticipating his "This is It" Tour and he didn't feel like it, so he created a media craze by faking his death and even had his live-in doctor go along with it.

IllogiNews had the privilege of talking with Mr. Jackson and this exchange occurred.

“So, Mr. Jackson, why? Why did you have to fake your death and move to this bizarre island?”

~ Me

“Listen, little guy, I had to. I couldn't take the pressure. I hated being famous.”

~ MJ

“OK. So, is that a flying monkey over there?”

~ Me

“Yeah, I got him since Bubbles was sent to a breeding factory”

~ MJ

“Well, all right then. A pleasure, Mr. Jackson”

~ {{{2}}}

“Yep, and please don't tell anyone you found me here.”

~ MJ

So, Jackson never died and is eating coconuts for eternity. What? You were expecting more? Seriously? From a lame-arsed "journalist" like me? Fine, you know what, just beat it!