Isaac Newton

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Not to be confused with Issac Newton.

"I invented gravity? Yeah, that sounds about right."

Isaac Newton is a famous German theologist who came up with many theories on life. A few are listed below.


  • E=mc^2 which he did not steal from Einstein, Einstein stole it from him! Isaac has since forgotten what it was about.
  • "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction", for example, if someone paints their bedroom walls they will automatically de-paint themselves. Likewise, this article may unwrite itself in due time.
  • "If someone leaves a mainstream band, particularly if it is a rock band, their surname will automatically become "Who?"" QED with Tarja Turunen and Doctor among others.
  • "If you flame a 4chan-related video on youtube you are an emo fag by public consensus".
  • "Pink Floyd will rock when they are formed, roughly 250 years from now".
  • "I have discovered a way to disprove the existence of God. It is as follo- ow! An apple hit me on the head! Alright, who did that?". Historians claim witnesses saw Jesus sneaking away shortly after this incident.
  • "I have forgotten what I was going to say, so let's invent gravity!". He said, which still in its way foiled Jesus' efforts and disproved God.
  • "God is the only person who can scream in tenor".
  • "I'm no Breton, but I'll add the category".