Lulzita
It was infuriating.
Those damn liberals. Always trying to normalize the basest and most sickening aspects of human nature. So what, just because a pedophile says he's doing his best to not act on his urges by molesting children or watching child porn, he doesn't deserve to die?! And of course, the FILTHY LIBERALS are taking his side, because they're all closet pedophiles and every conservative knows it!
Oh, shut up you hypocrite.
Oh, not this again, inner voice! Saya's a perfectly mature girl who enjoys having sex! Masturbating to her fanart is nothing to be ashamed of!
Uh, that's not what I was talking about, I'm totally cool with her. But how do you justify jerking off to someone like Wikipe-tan? And YOUNG Wikipe-tan at that?!
No, fuck you! I do nothing of that sort!
Really? You're going to lie to your own inner voice? I suppose you also don't visit your niece's elementary school just so you can fap to-
Goddamit, SHUT UP! Pedos are fucking evil assholes who deserve to die! End of story!
If I didn't seriously care about your well-being, I'd tell you to kill yourself right about now.
And I totally would if I was ACTUALLY A PEDOPHILE! You're just part of the liberal conspiracy, inner voice!
Yeah, maybe you're right. How about we get a beer?
Mmm...I'm like so fucking high right now! Oh, you sure know how to get a man drunk, inner voice!
Hahaha, yeah. So, how about we look at some of Erin's photos?
Mmm...Erin. Yeah, look there she is on her field trip! Ah, and that bestie of hers...Karen, wasn't it? She's, like, so fucking hot! Mmm...
Are you feeling it, Jerry?
Oh, yeah! Come on, Karen, come to daddy...mm...AAAAH!
AHA! You just masturbated to your own niece's bestie, you fucking pedophile!
Mmm...I...oh you fucking asshole! I'll kill you!
I'm your inner voice, remember? The only way to kill me-
SHUT UP! JUST FUCKING SHUT UP!
You know, if you just acknowledge your true nature and try to get help for it, things don't have to be so bad. The entire point of liberals pointing out non-acting pedophiles is to show that people like you can live fulfilling lives without victimizing underage kids.
I AM NOT A PEDOPHILE!
Says the guy who masturbated to-
NO! YOU made me do it! YOU gave me these urges! This is all your fault, you fucking LIBERAL! You're part of the conspiracy, aren't you?! You're trying to convert me into one of THEM! But I will fight you, inner voice! I will fight you to the bitter end!
And how do you plan on fighting your own conscience?
YOU! ARE! NOT! MY! CONSCIENCE!
Really? Who was it that stopped you from shoplifitng back when-
Fuck you!
And that time when the meth dealer-
I said FUCK YOU!
Or that time when you niece and Karen were-
SHUT THE FUCK UP! I am not a pedophile, and nothing you say will convince me otherwise!
Okay, asshole. But don't come running to me when you find out I was right all along.
Later that day, I totally did not get into an online chat with a girl who totally wasn't 12-years old, and I totally did not impersonate Harry Styles just to convince her to show me her boobies and vag. I also totally did not carry this on for the next three months, and I totally did not invite her to my home address, totally not telling her to come alone.
When she totally didn't show up, I totally did not try to serve her a spiked drink, and she totally didn't catch me slipping something into her glass of Coke. She totally didn't call her parents as a result, which totally didn't result in me getting arrested.
I was totally not convicted of soliciting explicit images from a minor and attempted rape. And I am totally not a prisoner and registered sex offender these days. You were wrong all along, inner voice! HA!
I feel sorry for you, Jerry.