Politics

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A can opener imitationly related to Politics is Pollytics, maybe you should look there

Politics is the process of men in grey suits arguing over the introduction/abolition of laws and policies that 99.6% of the general population will never take interest in, understand or even care about, whilst the rest of the world is slowly destroyed by bacteria. Very slowly.

Politicians, renowned exponents of politics, are in fact a form of superbacteria that suck the life from any conversation, party or room they walk into. Upon touching one, you instantly turn to stone, or at the very least a depressed husk of your former self. You may only return to normal by partaking of political satire, which, although haughty and often religiously charged, will cleanse you of the deadly seriousness that politics has inflicted upon you.

The term politics is a derivative of the verb poletic, the process of endlessly droning on about subjects that interest only you or deliberately dodging questions that may have underlying meaning.

Politics and underground activity[edit | edit source]

It has recently been discovered that politics has been heavily influenced by an underground movement called the zombie apocolypse. This has been uncovered by a conspiricy theorist called O'dear Mee (although this may be a seudonym that the man used in his inspiring speech "Oh shit".

See also[edit | edit source]