User:Gruntled/Christiaanity

Clear as awesome sauce.

Christiaanity is a neo-Baconist based religion founded by astronomer and wrestler Christiaan Huygens. The organizing principle of the faith is confusion, thus having beaten those filthy heathen Discordians to the satire religion punch. As an added bonus, the practical wing of the faithful teaches how to kick ass and astronomy.

Usually located in big city storefronts these days, the group usually stations astrologers and tarot readers offering free tickets to NASCAR events. Neophytes deemed worthy are funneled back to tier 2 cantors, who ask for donations. Interested candidates for tier 3 revelations are given plastic ukuleles and asked to take a 10 minute vow of chastity.