User:Twoandtwoalwaysmakesafive/Myxomatosis
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“It wasn't my intention; I did it for a reason!”
“It must've got mixed up, strangled, beaten up!”
There was just no more time in my mind to think up a reason as to why I was picked over by the weird fish today. It just levitated to where I was standing (which was on top of a pile of dead lolcats) and uttered, "You tree disgust me." I simply thought he hated those beautiful yew trees, but then I realized that there were two other people with me, one on each side of me, standing on their own pile of lolcats. I looked to my left and saw a tall and bulky figure that had tube-like ears with green skin. To my horror, it was Shrek. I quickly look to my right and I see a more terrifying entity: it had glasses, light brown curly hair, a very thin body, and a smirk on his face. He had a shirt with four leaves on it, underneath it saying, "/b/". It was Cristopher Poole, the founder of 4chan and the biggest fa - I mean, douchebag in the world.
The weird fish (now glowing and levitating) went on to say with a Southern accent, "It has come to my distinct attention (brought on by hyperventilation) that all you tree, standing 'fore me, have had a distinct reputation of notoriety, whilst being degenerated men of society." Amazed by his own words, his glowing purple and orange flesh began to melt, revealing his new and more powerful form; it was Pac-Man dressed in a purple zoot-suit, fedora and all. Not wanting to be eaten, Shrek made a mad dash for his life. "ONION!!!" bellowed Pac-Man, and he quickly ate Shrek. "Ha! Onion. Hey kid, do you have a Tor Onion browser? If not, I can install it on your computer for free, and then you'll be able to see 75% more of the internet!" said Christopher. A split second later, Pac-Man turns around with green blood dripping from his lips. He said in a deep baritone voice with a Spaniard accent, "You must not speak of the Onion, for he is now being digested by me." With that, Christopher ravenously dug through his shoulder bag and took out his laptop. "Oh yeah, Pac? I'll show you the power of the Onion Browser-" There was a disgusting sound that followed that sounded like a combination of that sound your shoes make when they're soaking wet (amplified 10 times) and the loud crunching and cracking of bone.
SO HERE I AM, STANDING BEFORE A GIANT MURDEROUS RETRO GAME CHARACTER WHO ATE THE OGRE TO MY LEFT AND THE DEGENRATED MAN TO MY RIGHT WITHOUT BLINKING AN EYE.[edit | edit source]
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