A collection of emo poems through the ages…(like the past two weeks)

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An early emo

The origins of the Emo-tional Kids are unknown for sure. It is believed that they were followers of Luthgar the Emotional. Luthgar was a prominent Viking warrior who in the late 11th century became quite popular through his use of the "hair flip" and tight pants. He led the church of Hair Gell. The church had been dissolved when Luthgar had been murdered by the Chieften of the "Douchy Vampire Kid Clan" as shown thriving in South Park.

Emo kids have been a recently popular in American culture, I have no idea why: I mean, emo kids are slightly on the gay side of life. But, they still have major influence on the American Image. The recent growth of emotional kids is evidence that the church of Hair Gell, against all records, might have survived past Luthgar's demise in 1232A.D. This would mean that all our records on the Emo Population have been wrong. The Ethnicity Monitoring Organization (E.M.O.) Has been diligently re-looking for lost documents that might illuminate the facts on the Church of Hair Gell or any other splinter-cells that have emerged from said church.

Church of Hair Gell

The Emos of eternity past are completely different from the emotional emos of today. Yes, They had tight pants and flippy hair, but that's where the similarities end. The Church of Hair Gell only admitted the most dedicated of followers. The initiation required the applicant to cut his wrist 360 degrees around, and to smear the blood on the altar of Leatheran, and then recite an oath that has been lost to the ages. Then, they would collect three tears of theirs. These tears were poured into the Pool of Sorrow.

Those who passed initiation were scarred for life and never again could watch opera without having the urge to cut themselves (heaven knows why). In our records, from the year 1196A.D. to 1233A.D. (the beginning, and the past-assumed end of the Church of Hair Gell) there were 643 confirmed initiates into the Church of Hair Gell. This number only shows us the exclusiveness of this cult. Luthgar was the High Priest, almost a "god figure to the Church of Hair Gell. He so deeply rooted the fact that he himself was a divine being, that when he met his demise, the church had absolutely no idea of what to do. This inability to establish plans for the future has been characterized through the centuries.

Contemporary Emos

A more modern emo

The Emos we know today are a far cry from those in the original Church of Hair Gell. Unlike their ancestors, majority of "emos" don't even know what their true heritage is. In fact 92.43% of the current emos know nothing about Luthgar, or the Church of Hair Gell, or anything in that manner. The most astounding thing is the fact that their numbers are swelling so quickly. Even if the church had survived, with such high percentage of ignorance, how could it be possible to have, roughly, 16 million emos found worldwide (mainly in the United States, Britain, and Canada) there must be some other explanation. This is still up to debate by the E.M.O.

Recap

Now that a small background has been explained, we may now proceed onto the poetry. The following poems were written during the Floppian-Diskus Dynasty (1134AD-1278AD)

TayTay Bomb

Through Death and Hell

through death and hell and demons flew
i traced the love i knew once well
looking back, so insincere
i walked through hell to keep her hear
the pain the strife all that hurts
i almost could've strangled her
but looking now into her eyes
i see the love i long with mine
how could i ever consider death
to make whats right what i could have left
~TayTay Bomb

-Now I know exactly whats you is thinking,.... "why is this idiot posting these poems?" to be perfectly honest, this idiot doesn't know either. First, just let me discuss this poem, as shown above......

"Through Death and Hell"

I have recently gone through an Intense study of the author, and i have found that he had no idea what he was trying to say. He was one of the more prominent writers of his time, he was accepted into the church of Hair Gell in an estimated 1203AD as a scribe appointed to a priest of the church. This piece is a classic example of the mindset of emo people, they have a bleak, painful, and hopeless outlook on life. but they always seem to add things that make it more hopeful. This psychology makes no scene to scholars, and utterly perplexes all who study the emo-brain. Through these texts written by TayTay, such as this, we have deciphered that the emo philosophy based much on relationships of men and women. This also tells us, unlike most organization of the Dark Ages, the Church of Hair Gell allowed females to enter the cult.

Ferretious Tertoken

Death

Trees Falling,
Leaves Dying,
Life dies,
we all die.
Poems die,
hands die,
why waste time holding hands?
when hands die.
~ Ferretious Tertoken

"Death"

This poem shows more of a raw hatred of the world. Unlike TayTay, Ferretious does not have even a hint of hope. The church embraced Ferretious' work because it upheld Luthgar's proclamations: "I embody Darkness **sob, sob**". These types of poems were used to control the minds of the church's rivals to show that the church was fear itself.

Yocav Tertoken

Why?

the girl doesn't like me.
but she makes me feel things in my pee pee.
it makes me feel down low on the ground,
like im some kind of hound.
the world is a cold dark place,
it would be better off without me
~ Yocav Tertoken

"Why?"

Yocav Tertoken, as his name give away was the brother of Ferretious, Their writing styles are fairly similar. During the stage of Yocav's life, he was a caretaker in a chapel dedicated to the Church of Hair Gell in England 1205. We have more information on Yocav than Ferretious for on soul reason; Yocav, in 1225, had become Luthgar's personal squir and wiseman. This poem however, predate that, so it rules out the possibility that these are Luthgar's thoughts. Although this piece predates Yocav's promotion, it offers some very important insight, Yocav was a horny teenager. He must have been between he ages of 16-20. This tells us that the Church of Hair Gell preferred youth.

Benjamin Zipperfleece

Remorse

I find myself in deep regret,
Wishing I was the one
To hold her hand and silhouette
But fate told me I'm done.

With love and hate I bind myself
To follow all my past
Into the spell lost on the shelf
With all the grave recast.

But then again I look once more
And find it all combining.
But look ye not into the shore
To see us all resigning.

So look, my friend, into the eyes
Of all who hath despised you.
And you shall know now all the lies
In which they have deprived you.

You see the love you once had owned
And see it with remorse.
If you were there to see her stoned
It would have been with force.

So now you see the pain I'm in
And wish it to go on
To find some other creature's sin
And on and on and on.

But here we find the end so nigh
And wish we can confine it
For all the hope is bound to die
Which none of us inspire it.

So here is but the last long words
In which we find the end
A song of hope and wishful thought
Is sung upon our bend
~Benjamin Zipperfleece

"Remorse"

This piece was written by Benjamin Zipperfleece, a very close and personal friend with TayTay Bomb. He lived roughly from 1183-1222 and served the Church of Hair Gell as an General stationed in Germany. He established many chapels and cult meeting places in his ministries. he is by far most famous for his military victory in the "Battle of Nourvous Rock" where he, and his small squad of 5 emo patrolmen, defended the chapel of Berlin in 1206AD from an army of 243 armed Buddhist priests. (see "Emo military victories") This piece is a classic propaganda add issued by Zipperfleece to create fresh recruits. The "song of hope and wishful thought" refers to the battle cry that he issued whenever he and his men went into battle "we create the hope in this bleak and wasteful world!" There are a few variations of Zipperfleece's propaganda poems, if you wish to see them see "Emo Propaganda of the 1200's"

Gunter Samanther

Sleep Walking

i left my bed last night
only to walk the streets of night,
walking... then running
showing no sign of fright,
i walk this lonely path
only to see my future crash.
~Gunter Samanther

"Sleep Walking"

This poem means only one thing, only ONE thing. Emos came into contact with zombies! (see "Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead") But seriously talking now, though its possible this refers to Zombies, it is more likely to be referring to the traumatic nightmares that Initiates suffered through their harsh right of passage into the Church of Hair Gell. Through their trauma and pain, they each had a Proctor appointed to them to administer the "tests". An example of these "tests" is: while the victim was asleep, the Procedure would tear off the victim's left big toe's thumbnail. The Initiates learned that to sleep meant more pain.