A rabbi, a priest and a 3 acre grove of bamboo walk into a bar...

<advance fomentation gear 3 clicks>

The rabbi puts a dollar into the jukebox, points to a moose seated at the table closest to him and says, "during the Axial Age, belching hyenas were considered as an alternate power source"...

<prepare clowns for incineration>

The priest addled over to join his colleague, toting two ales and a mixed drink for the pile of grass...

<invert knurled knob counterintuitively clockwise. unfurl precision cantilevered flayrod mounting bolts. clench.>

The bamboo says to the moose, "you ever think about getting paid, for, you know... being weird?" Simultaneously, the rabbi lights up a spliff and quotes from Haile Selassie...

<circumambulate Quaba Labba Ding Dong, slapping anyone who says, "balustrade".>

The moose shakes his head, looks as the priest and says, "when you kill them, keep the teeth. That way, nobody will be framed for a murder you committed." Did I mention that the bartender was Professor Polidori? ...

<gingerly apply barbecue sauce.>

So, the bartender throwing croutons at a shaman who'd materialized squatting on the bar, about to relieve himself...

<cry like the bitch that you are. don't forget the raisins.>

The vision questerer quickly pulled up his loin cloth and fled to the mens room...

<have appropriate invocation performed by ineffable evil metal band. >

It turns out, the moose was bisexual!