Abstinence-only education

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“ "Has any of you been compelled to live through a long time-interval between the consciousness of a desire and its fufilment?"

"Well," began one of the boys, and hesitated.
"Speak up," said the D.H.C. "Don't keep his fordship waiting."
"I once had to wait nearly four weeks before a girl I wanted would let me have her."
"And you felt a strong emotion in consequence?"


Abstinence-only education is the most offensive, vile, corrupted, evil, soul-destroying thing in the history of the known Universe. It is so offensive, so beyond the pale, that all sentient beings consider it to be totally beyond rational discourse. In a world in which absolutely everything even tangentially related to sex has been rendered non-offensive by mindless repetition, there is only one thing left which exposing via mention in polite company can cause offense, and that's abstinence-only education.

Once upon a time, parents used to scare their children with stories about a sexual pervert named Rumpilstiltskin that tried to steal people's underage daughters for his own nefarious use. But now, since sex is understood by scientific science to be a completely meaningless, purely biological function and everyone's daughters are on the pill, what Ruppilstiltskin does is OK. But the consequence of that is that parents had to find something else that was even more scary to scare their kids about at night, and abstinence-only education fit the bill perfectly. Ten times more frightening than Freddie Krueger or any of the other scarecrows of old, abstinence-only education has the gall to suggest that maybe it might not be the best idea for absolutely everybody to be fucking absolutely everybody else all the fucking time. Horrible!