Andrés Manuel Lopez Obrador
Andrés Manuel López Obrador, also known as the Macuspana Martir, was born Saddam Fidel Hitler, a self-proclaimed unrecognized grandson of Adolf Hitler and Osama Bin Laden's mother, was born as a pejelagarto (a rare almost prehistorical fish that looks funny) in the city of Macuspana Tabasco, México. He lived as a pejelagarto almost all his childhood until he morphed into a corrupt political psycho-leader, thanks to the aliens that lost their way in their mission "Rescuing the fallen at Roswell", because a personal request from Goebbels, (who it is known for selling his soul to the devil and lives eternally along with Hitler's intestines).
Saddam Fidel aka Andrés Manuel achieved to be Mexico's City governor by lies, drug selling, prostitution and excessive indebtedness. He was the original creator of the "mata viejitas", (old - lady's killer) by giving a monthly pension to the senior citizens of the city. So after the delinquency in Mexico found out that it is easier to rob and kill an old lady, the "mata viejitas" was born. This monthly pension was given with no prior taxing methods, so he simply asked for some money "borrowed" to the owner of Mexico, Carlos Slim to do so. With the money he said he was going to give to the old people (they were supposed to receive 100 dlls every month and they actually get half of this money),he paid for his campain to become president of Mexico in 2006.
He also built the "segundo piso" (second floor over Mexico City's main freeway)a mega construction that serves only to put traffic jam in another "level" and as a tourist attraction for most central Americans illegal immigrants who couldn't afford a coyote to pass them to "el otro lado" (the other side, also known as USA). With this two strategies this alien pejelagarto inflated himself with so much money he claims no to have.
According to the Mexican think tank Mexico Tierra de Pendejos Andrés Manuel López Obrador claims to be friends with Bono.
Political Strategy[edit | edit source]
Saddam Fidel, aka Andrés Manuel's political strategy is simple: "I will become president of Mexico by copying old Jesus Strategy: I am God, and then when they believe me so, I will have absolute power so I will step on every poor and miserable one that voted for me". Oh! and I will make Carlos Slim gay, have sex with me, sodomize him and steal all his money in my behalf. He will take away the few rich people´s money, who didn't send it abroad in time, and to the poor´s hope give it to them making everyone poor. He also stands side by side with Fidel Castro, Evo Morales and Hugo Chavez, whom he speaks strangely similarly.He plans to win also, by ordering his group of viejijos "old people" make a large scale war directly on Mexico, armed with machetes and palos, they plan to impale din0 by fucking him up the ass.
Rumors said that he gives "tortas y refresco" to his people
Personal Life[edit | edit source]
Saddam Fidel Hitler has an exhaustive personal life. Since he mysteriously murdered his wife in 2002 by infecting her with lupus he started a romance with his male personal assistant known as "Nico". This was confirmed when the media broadcasted that as Andrés Manuel drove a common compact Nissan car, Nico had the luxury SUV. He paid this way for Nico's special services. Now he has a supposed girlfriend who nobody has really seen, because she is so ugly that her face stops clocks within one km. He keeps her locked in a closet.
He is also, secretly of course, the richest person, besides God (hey there big fella!), in the entire universe. his personal wealth amounts $932 trillion dollars, which he uses to fund the BUSHFUCKS.com.mx website.