“HAH! I AM Art”
Art is what happens when a person either regurgitates or defecates in a place that is not designated for such actions. The patterns evolved from these splatters represent the foremost industrial revolutions of the 18th and 19th century, in particular the slave movement.
How YOU Can Create Art
Anybody can create beautiful art, it just takes time, some poison, or some fiber. All three are good in bed, so why can't they be good at art as well? After all, bed is art. And what you do in bed is as well (except for when you've wet the bed - that's more a form of humiliation and comedy).
"I like to shove paint up my ass and fart random patterns onto canvas."
"I also enjoy the delights of the English gentry; they have nice arses, which I use to fart even more enticing random patterns with paint."
"One time a particular fart yielded fecal matter, it has been one of my best works since."