Banana Bible
First There Was Banana and it's first words were, 'Bello Bello, I'm Yellow'.
Banana đ is creature Fine and beautiful you crave its pale; yellow guts Banana shall be worshiped The cheese in holy matrimony; the all-powerful banana Yellow skin Smooth Banana O N JO O the Almighty The powerful; beautiful being His name shall not be spoken in vain Thou shalt not suffer under wrath of powerful and treacherous B O N J O ok his name shall veil In pain and suffering The holy verse I Like Banana
I like bananas, I think that mangoes are sweet I like papayas (papayas?) Nothing can beat that sweet love of God I like bananas, I think that mangoes are sweet I like papayas (papayas?) Nothing can beat that sweet love of God I was walking down in circles Five miles an hour Was trying to find my way back to my heavenly father The world was just sweet and soon it turns sour But then I asked a man, have you seen his power One, two, three I like bananas, I think that mangoes are sweet I like papayas (papayas?) Nothing can beat that sweet love of God I like bananas, I think that mangoes are sweet I like papayas (papayas?) Nothing can beat that sweet love of God Daduduwa dududuwa, dududuwa duwa (the sweet love of God) Daduduwa dududuwa, dududuwa duwa I was walking in circles Five miles an hour Was trying to find my way back to my heavenly father The world was just sweet and soon it turns sour But then I asked a man, have you seen his power Unos, dos, tres I like bananas, I think that mangoes are sweet I like papayas (papayas?) Nothing can beat that sweet love of God Daduduwa dududuwa, dududuwa duwa (the sweet love of God) Daduduwa dududuwa, dududuwa duwa The sweet love of God
Pray to B O N J O O K Always Stay loyal to your saviour First there was banana First sing the Holy Verse Commit Banana-cide In the Holy Ritual The beauty ius; powerful; vengeful; succulent; and bright yellow B O N J O O K
Get banana Cut âxâ in top of banana Rinse in banana holy water Pray to B O N J O O K while listening to the Holy Verse Slice banana in half Slice one half of the banana peel fully Lick the banana guts side Slice banana half in slices; free your sins to The Almighty
BONJOOKS COMMANDMENTS
Commandment 1; The Wraith sacrifices; ONLY CAPITALIZED: Roast the sacrifice in Banana Tar. Peel the skin off like a banana peel Salt the banana Place the banana in a giant pot Place exactly 37 Banana peels in a perfect circle around the banana. Then he eats the banana! OMONONOMOMO!!!\ Commandment 2; Summoning the Great Lord: Collect Ingredients. You will need: One Flaming Banana Costume One Almighty Tube Hat Of Doom Several Bananas Once you have purchased all of the above ingredients, do not place them in the blender.
Start by placing one banana, sliced, in a pan. Give the Almighty Tube Hat Of Doom and a bottle of red wine to the banana man while he cooks the banana, as illustrated to the left.
A Master Bananagod Summoner teaching his students the art of The Summoning. Place the banana man into the Flaming Banana Costume, and have him/her perform the Great Dance around the flaming bananas, as illustrated to the right.
Animation of the Great Dance
Begin the Sacred chant: It's Peanut Butta Jelly Time!, repeat three times.
If all went well, your banana man should become the portal for the mighty Bananagod.
Now run like banana hell you just cut up and set fire to a banana, and thus have incurred the Wraith of BONJOOK, The Banana God!
Commandment 3; BONJOOKS POWER; MUST BE CAPITALIZED: He is creator of life, good and bad, Banana hell is Banana heaven and all. But It is well known that Helicopters only fly due to BONJOOK's goodwill. The exception to this is the Bermuda Triangle where Shia LaBeouf performed an explicit act on a banana. The Wraith of BONJOOK hit him so hard that to this day any helicopter that flies there will invoke his Wraith and have its rotors turned to Jelly Babies and will fall into the sea where the pilots will be Fed-Exed away. -The creator of this section later died to BONJOOK, due to him not capitalizing BONJOOK, rest painfully banana traitor.
Commandment 4; Dispute his enemies; great power these fiends hold: Bonjook is only afraid of one human and this man is Bob Ross. It was Bob who defeated BONJOOK in the long ago Wars of the Mountain Dew Fields. BONJOOK was fresh from the conquest of The Blue Rice Paddies and had with him an army of over 10,000 bananaminions and 28 Evil Robots. Only Bob Ross stood between BONJOOK and FULL ENLIGHTENMENT. Bob had with him only his trusty paintbrush and a small brigade of Treedemons (but my, they were happy little Treedemons). It was a huge battle and many of Bob's Treedemons were killed and even more of BONJOOKS bananaminions. But at last they faced each other on the battlefield, surrounded by their dead and dying armies. It was then that Bob Ross uttered the Immortal Words âcheesecakes and biscuitsâ BONJOOK howled with anguish and was forced to flee. Everyone cheered and lived happily ever after. BONJOOK was forced into hiding but he has recently returned, following Bob's death in 1995 and is returning to his full powers as you read this.
Commandment 5; Avoidance to A vengeful and unexpected traitorly dealth; Following disrespect to BONJOOKS commandment and word: If you want to not incur the Wraith of BONJOOK, you must eat as many bananas as possible. Even so, you must grow bananas everywhere. If you do everything right, you might live for another twenty years before accidentally eating something without banana matter in or on it. Eating these give BONJOOK POWER
Commandment 8; His main word; follow this rule or be sent to endless torment and death by The Almighty: If anything goes wrong, it is always Jr's fault!
Creation: While it is commonly known that BONJOOK is a timeless and powerful being that was summoned from banananananananaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaana from peel and less; BONJOOK was created when humanoids first discovered the banana was edible. So many were then eaten, that the souls of the deceased bananas collected into one peel, that it became BONJOOK. The giant banana peel began then to unleash his Wraith upon the humans, occasionally turning them into Bananaspawn, the most famous of which was the Bananaspawn General known as 'The evil one' who was turned to the evil by rotting. The humans tried to fight back, to no avail. The mighty Bananagod destroyed every banana-eating human he could find (which was pretty much everyone except for a few people who thought they were squirrels), then began a thousand-year slumber. This is why BONJOOK is so hateful. Yet we worship him for the glory he possess
Stay true to BONJOOK
Pray, sacrifice, and give your sins to The Almighty
Holy Verses
I Like Bananas, I Like Bananas (So Banany), BANANA SONG,