Bon Jovi

WARNING! This article may be slppery when wet.

“Elle est ma vie”

~ André Breton

Bon Jovi is a musical group comprised of four working-class men in tight leather pants. Their debut album Jon Bon, which their tiny fanbase purports is "actually pretty good", but they never reached the public eye due to untimely labor strikes at the time of release.

At one time during the band's tumultuous career, lead singer Bon Jovi (no relation) remarked that living conditions for the members were so despondent that they were almost literally "living on a prayer."

Keep reading, you're halfway there!

These conditions inspired him to write a song based on drummer Tico Torres' violent starvation. Sadly, the album didn't sell well due to the untimely shooting in the heart of singer Bon Jovi, by his backstabbing no-good girlfriend.

Keep an eye out for her, she's wanted dead or alive.