Category:Articles containing at least one extremely long sentence

Will you please for the love of all that is holy shut up!

These articles have one or more really long sentences. Many of these sentences have tons or commas or colons or semicolons which may reflect an organization to the writer's thinking, but often result in confusion to the reader, and sometimes, even cataclysmic mental failure, systemic organ shutdown, fabric glomming, lengthening of eyebrows and earlobes, frothing of the toes, greasy sandwich cravings, tambourine smell, punctuation addiction, frenular moss, militarily useful explosive bowel movementtie hallucinations where Sidney Poitier and Bob Dylan figure centrally, alfalfa sprout nipple, perforated medulla oblongata, meat sweats, fogged spectacles, rubbery ennui, parallel sofas, lazy nose, antilactation, inbreeding, rising creeks, wrought iron aversion, uncontrollable belly laughter, lemon curry(?), iPad bowel obstruction, urges to emulate Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels by going on a six month bender in France while writing a hypocritical manifesto, inability to walk and chew gum at the same time, calling football soccer (if European), smoking clean pooch, cobbler's grimace, urge to roofie a girl (males only), tie her to her bed with chicken wire and leave dozeens of cute puppies in her home, so that when she comes to and calls the police, they'll think she's a weirdo, porch rot, flip flopping political opinions, graphic automation, snarky pelvis, pet pregnancies, phrenological changes, simian Belgianism and reefer madness.