Chair bolts

Chair bolts are bolts that bolt your chair to the ceiling, used to prevent dangerous people rocking off it and flying up into space.

I have had first hand experience with these... it is very nice to know when you have been bolted to the ceiling.

WARNING!!! Chair Bolts may affect your digestion process, so to avoid any unwanted sick adhered to your floor, you must first to de-gravitize the food intended for ingestion through use of magnets and complicated equations and all that kind of stuff.

Or you could just not eat sausages before you use your chair.

You should not eat food while using Chair Bolts because doing so may result in it entering through your bum and exiting out through your mouth. Subsequently, if you do so, you may experience a very embarrassing vertical spillage.

Or you could just not eat at all before you use your Chair bolts. Your choice.