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A chair is nice and will invite you for tea. Chairs will clatter and steal your pants – backwards!

A chair will even clean your house for you! Chairs will grind themselves into dust and and form a cloud, making you inhale them, thus becoming very eeble.

A chair will expel the eeble sonks from your midst, restoring the sanity! Chairs will try to sell you fluffotherapy and force-feed you coffee until you develop a twitchy thumb!

A chair will not threaten your cookies and will even back down if they grunt and paint it yellow. Chairs will!

A signed chair has a range of -128 to 127, an unsigned 0 to 255. Meanwhile, CHAIRS WILL CRUSH YOUR WILL TO PROGRAM BY RANDOMLY ADDING MISSPELLINGS YOUR CODE WHILE YOU SLEEP!


While many think that this caveman invented the chair, in actuality it was discovered in the early -3rd century by the Greeks. When they realized that sitting on the mud and feces of the previous generation were not good for their butts and underwear-less togas, they decided to invent the beanbag-chair, which provided much more comfort to their discussions and made laundry easier.

“The greeks were so advanced!”

~ Timmy Turner's Dad on the Greeks

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