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  Cinema and Movies are the exact same thing, damn it  

I don't wanna watch a movie about pirates sword fighting with ladles. Can't they just come to a compromise and teach eachother how to cook casserole? Casserole is my favourite. Since you talked during the movie, doesn't that mean I get to talk during the movie as well? This is the one about the kangaroo and the... the... [hysterical fits of laughter]

Oh, never mind then.

I only wanted to enjoy a movie in peace at the drive-in and we were no further than five minutes into the trailers before my incredibly uncouth next-door neighbour claimed to have taken his moped instead of his car, and proceeded to shove his moped into my car. About five other people joined very shortly afterwards and the film had been interrupted at various intervals by Scousers shouting unintelligible rubbish (as well as throwing unintelligible rubbish) about some kind of party in my car that I was unaware of.

And now it seems I was uninvited. The mosquitoes came and nestled in my moustache, much to my disgust — although disgust happens to be what I feel about ninety percent of the time anyway.

I was forced to stay with that lady who owned several rockets. Miss Mary Jane at the ticket booth couldn't stop laughing. But then again, she usually never does.

At least I wasn't with that other woman, who doesn't shut up.

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