Cool Club

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“Get your drink on, get your smoke on, take home something to poke on.”

~ The official motto of Cool Club
Weeaboos need not apply.

Cool Club is an elite social club for cool people.

Things the club approves of[edit | edit source]

  • Money: You gotta get that money, son. Life just ain’t worth living unless you have a nice fat bankroll to blow on a bunch of stuff you don’t need. And women? You ain’t never gonna get a woman unless you have a deep pockets. If you want to nail that gash, you have to flash that cash.
  • Fast cars: The pimp life is a fast life, and it don't get much faster than crushing top speed all around some over-populated cosmopolitan hellhole. All cool people need to drive fast cars, preferably a very expensive one painted in the most garish colors imaginable.
  • Women: Oh, man, you got to get them women. A man's worth is measured by how many notches he puts on his bedpost. If you want to be cool, you have to have sex with every women you see.
  • Firearms: You ain’t cool unless you're packing heat. And the bigger the gun you rock, the more others will see you as someone you don't duck around with. Rock out with your Glock out, son! Bust a cap when a brother gives you attitude!
  • Drugs: It is a proven scientific fact that life is better when you are stoned off your ass. Pop some pills, blaze a couple joints, huff gasoline (or kittens) if you have to. Do whatever it takes to stay loaded 24/7. Nothing signifies coolness quite like a crippling drug addiction.

Things the club disapproves of[edit | edit source]

  • Anime: Anime is just terrible, man. Why would you want to watch that? It is nothing but schoolgirls having sex with tentacles and businessmen being late for important meetings. Why would you want to watch that when you could be so busy being cool?