Dave Ramsey

David Bunkus "Davey" Ramsey is a master of financial mind tricks and an undercover agent of the credit card companies. Instead of encouraging listeners of his no-ratings no-brains radio podcast YouTube simulcast thingy to use the lax bankruptcy laws in Murrica like a true patriot, he encourages people to actually pay their bills like the good sheeple they are. He perpetuates the lie that debit cards are more secure than credit cards, and also encourages people to pay for things using pieces of paper with dead presidents' face on it despite the fact that said pieces of paper were in a stripper's thong at some point.

Ramsey is loved by such virtuous and compassionate entities as American Express, Fifth Third Bank, and Ronnie Raygun.