Desert

Deserts are harsh, custard is also harsh and so is your mum.

The desert is a place; and a very hot place at that. With a population of -6, the desert has often been confused with desserts and have lead the the death of several fat people. Bloody shame, eh?

Why you shouldn't confuse 'desert' and 'dessert'

Waiter: What would you like for dessert, sir?

Me: I would like the Gobi, with Mongolian sauce.

Waiter: We do not serve that here, sir.

Me: But... it says deserts....

When I get a menu that says "Deserts" on it, I get excited and try to purchase the Gobi desert, but restaurants never have it. When people make simple mistakes like that, it crushes my heart, and I feel empty inside.

I've heard that several people have committed suicide over incidents like this. So don't screw this up, ok?

What the desert looks like

What the desert smells like

Dirt; lots and lots of dirt. It's a rather potent smell, much more potent than, say, your typical gardening dirt.

I once tried to eliminate the dirt smell from the desert by covering it with bars of soap, but to my dismay, I ran out after about six minutes, and had only covered a square foot of the desert.

See also

• Dessert