Deviled Eggs
Deviled eggs are, quite simply, eggs that have been deviled. These eggs are not scrambled, over easy, under easy, sexually easy, or hard boiled. In fact, hard boiling deviled eggs are a notoriously effective way at de-deviling an egg, but we'll get into that later. As stated before, deviled eggs are eggs that have been deviled; that is, the eggs have been possessed by the spirit of a devil.
What to do with deviled eggs?[edit | edit source]
Deviled eggs aren't quite the things you'd want to eat, unless you feel like having a living evil spirit brooding around in your digestive system for what might be the rest of your life. If you feel like taking the risk of eating one, it is highly recommended that you only just eat one.
How to make deviled eggs[edit | edit source]
Making them is no easy task. To start, you will need some sort of a sacrifice. A dog or cat is optimal, but a duck-billed platypus will usually suffice. Second, you take the sacrificed animal and lay it down on a cutting board or flat human abdomen (if using the latter, make sure you use someone you really dislike, it makes the egg tastier and the next step more enjoyable).
For the next step, both a siberian tiger and a flamethrower are necessary. First, take the flamethrower and unleash all hell with the flamethrower on the egg while singing "Cross-eyed Mary" by Jethro Tull backwards. Then, take the tiger and have it eat the egg whole off the abdomen, and if you're feeling lucky, the abdomen as well. If you do these two steps out of order, you may find yourself caught in a vicious time paradox full of gooey death and the movie Ishtar.
Let the eggs stew in the Tiger for about sixty minutes. You will notice its features slowly changing into those of Mephistomestopheles. Not the dude from Cats, the devil.
What you'd want to do next is make a grab for the largest, preferably silver, knife you own, in case the eggs jump out of the pot. You'd need the knife later for cutting the egg into pieces anyway so OH MY GOD HERE IT'S COMING GET YOUR KNIFE READY
GET YOUR MOTHERFLIPPING KNIFE READY I SAID ITS COOOMAIAAAAAAHAHHHHHhhhHHHHHHH
THE HUMANITY
i died :([edit | edit source]
So there you have it, most of the steps on how to make deviled eggs. Have a jolly good time makin' em.